ScottWesterman.com

By Scott Westerman
“The energy of the mind is the essence of life.” Aristotle

“If people around you aren’t going anywhere, if their dreams are no bigger than hanging out on the corner, or if they’re dragging you down, get rid of them. Negative people can sap your energy so fast, and they can take your dreams from you, too.” That’s MSU’s Earvin Johnson talking about energy suckers.

You know the type, the drama queens and complainer kings, those high maintenance people in your life who are quick to criticize and slow to act, first to spread gossip and last to take personal accountability. Energy suckers see every day as a bad day. The best they can do when you ask how it’s going is to say, “It’s going”. The need endless financial and emotional support and are insensitive to everybody else.

Who are the energy suckers in your life? There’s an easy test. What people make you cringe when you get a text message or email from them? Who make you instinctively press the “forward to voice mail” button when their number pops up on your caller ID? Who makes your chest tighten whenever they enter a room and you exhale whenever they leave?

These are the people Phylameana Lila Desey calls “psychic vampires”. “They are not bad people,” she writes, “Most of them are not aware on a conscious level that they are doing what they are doing. Still, their unknowing actions can play havoc…The harm in a psychic attack is that there is no fair exchange of energy and therefore one feels depleted while the other becomes energized.”

Our personal energy is the true coin of the realm. It’s a limited resource and we have to invest it carefully. While energy suckers are always a part of the world we inhabit, how we deal with them will impact both our productivity and our happiness.

We’ve all heard the classic advice, change the things you can change, accept the things you can’t change. There’s a third alternative that applies to energy suckers:

Remove yourself from the unacceptable.

We are judged by the company we keep and, invariably, that company can influence who we are. So minimize the time with the negative people in your life.

If you find yourself stuck in an interaction with an energy sucker, recognize the moments when that person is in vampire mode and don’t give up your power. I once heard a co-worker tell an energy sucker, “I’m sorry that you feel the way you do, but I can’t be dragged into this.”

This stunned the vampire, who immediately went into guilt-trip mode. “So what you’re saying is that you won’t help me?”

My co-worker responded gently but firmly, “You have to help yourself.”

Sounds pretty direct, and it is. But as “Road Less Traveled” author M. Scott Peck once wrote, “The only way to stop a behavior is to stop it.”

The truth is, we all need the benefit of someone else’s energy from time to time. That’s normal. And that’s what friends are for. In healthy relationships one and one makes three where energy is concerned. Even if you’re feeling down, a little time with that other person make you both feel stronger.

And if you’ve ever been in a room with a group of high energy people who are working on a problem together, the obstacles have a way of becoming manageable, and even if you only make a modicum of progress, everybody walks away feeling great.

Looking for ways to increase your personal energy? Here is a bunch from the Organicasm website:

Habits

Daily habits can be a leech on your energy, so take these steps to change your habits for the better.

1. Practice deep breathing: Try breathing with your abdominal muscles to improve your energy.
2. Give yourself a more flexible schedule: Work on tasks when they feel appropriate to your energy level, or pick up something else to do.
3. Turn on the lights: When you wake up in the morning, turn on all of the lights to trick your body out of bed.
4. Always eat breakfast: Breakfast will give your body the fuel jumpstart that it needs.
5. Schedule down time: Regularly give yourself time to recharge and relax.
6. Spend your energy wisely: Know when your energetic moments are, and don’t waste them on trivial actions.
7. Stay organized: Avoid losing energy by keeping everything in its systematic place.
8. Act like you have energy: Trick yourself into feeling more energetic by moving faster, like pacing while you talk on the phone or putting more energy into your voice.
9. Keep a manageable, even pace: Manage your time and energy more efficiently to avoid burnout.
10. Take up a hobby: Make a habit of nurturing a hobby, and you’ll always have something energizing to look forward to.
11. Practice altruism: By doing good work, you’ll help your energy with enhanced happiness, satisfaction, and health.
12. Eat 3 meals a day: Give yourself lasting energy by eating on a regular schedule.
13. Don’t smoke: Smoking deprives you of oxygen, which is necessary for energy.

Exercise

Take on these exercise strategies for lots of added energy.

1. Stretch: Maintain a good blow flow to your brain and the rest of your body by practicing stretches daily.
2. Exercise in the morning: Shake off sleepiness and snap out of your grogginess with a bit of exercise in the morning.
3. Find the right balance of exercise: Don’t exercise too much or too little-either way can cause you to lose energy.
4. Exercise on a gradual, steady basis: Ease into exercise, and then keep it up. You should aim to be active for 20 to 30 minutes each day.
5. Play a competitive sport: By playing a sport that requires thought, you’ll spark your mental energy.
6. Go for a walk after lunch: Shake off post-lunch sluggishness with a short energy boosting walk.

Sleep

We all know that sleep is essential to energy, but are you getting the best rest possible? Take these steps to make sure.

1. Sleep according to the sun: Sleep hormones are linked to natural light exposure, so you’ll get better rest if you do most of your sleeping when the sun is down.
2. Establish a sleep ritual: Improve the quality of your sleep with a ritual such as book-reading before going to bed, and you’ll enjoy more energy in your waking hours.
3. Kick your animals out of bed: Pets can hog the bed, make noise, and otherwise disturb your sleep, so you’re better off giving them their own separate place for rest.
4. Wake up without an alarm clock: Go to sleep early enough so that your body can wake up naturally when you’ve gotten enough sleep.
5. Take a nap: An afternoon nap can be refreshing, and won’t interfere with regular sleep patterns if you do it early enough.
6. Turn off the lights: Keep your bedroom as dark as possible to ensure your sleep hormones stay on track.
7. Avoid alcohol before bed: Alcohol may put you to sleep, but it makes for a lesser quality rest.

Food

Follow these tips to make sure you’re getting the proper fuel for your energy.

1. Decrease sugar consumption: Sugar will cause fluctuations in energy that can leave you feeling burnt out.
2. Increase your iron intake: An iron deficiency can cause chronic fatigue, so make sure you’re getting enough.
3. Eat a snack if necessary: Keep your blood sugar levels consistent with snacks throughout the day.
4. Eat smaller meals more often: By eating smaller, more frequent meals, you’ll avoid the groggy feeling that comes with eating large meals.
5. Drink enough water: Don’t leave your body dehydrated-drink enough water so that your body doesn’t need to conserve resources and zap your energy.
6. Eat “brain food”: Eat healthy fats like those found in fish and green, leafy vegetables to increase your brain power and energy.
7. Eat more protein: Protein offers a great way to combat fatigue.
8. Eat whole grains: Whole grains have complex carbohydrates that take a while to break down, providing you with energy that lasts.
9. Drink juice: Energy from juice separated from the pulp has been found to provide lots of energy.
10. Cut down on coffee: Although coffee can give you a rush of energy, in the end it will cause fatigue. Coffee does not have to be eliminated, but you probably shouldn’t drink more than one cup a day.
11. Eat your largest meal at lunch: Instead of eating a large meal for dinner, do it at lunch while your digestion is more active.
12. Eat lots of fiber: Fiber’s time-release effect will help give you sustained energy.

Health

Take these steps to make sure you’re in top-notch health for lots of energy.

1. Check for allergies: Decreased energy levels could be due to an intolerance or allergy, so try eliminating a specific food for a few weeks to see if you have any improvement, or see a doctor for a full allergy screening.
2. Take supplements if necessary: If you don’t get enough vitamins, consider taking supplements to cover deficiencies.
3. Lose weight: Carrying around extra weight takes a toll on your body and energy, so take off a few pounds to get more energy.
4. Try yoga: Yoga poses like the Breath of Fire can energize your body.
5. Take a hot and cold shower: Take a shower in which you alternate between hot and cold water to get energized.
6. Get a massage: A massage will help stimulate blood flow and relieve tension. You might even catch a refreshing nap at the same time.
7. Get your thyroid checked out: It’s been suggested that between 70 and 90 percent of Americans have an imbalance in this energy-regulating gland.
8. Ask your doctor about fatigue: Low energy can be brought on by a number of different conditions, like iron imbalances and low thyroid function.

Environment

Make these small changes in your environment to improve your energy level.

1. Listen to energetic music: Find music that motivates you and wakes you up for an energy boost.
2. Clean up: Clear your clutter both physically and emotionally, and you’ll feel better.
3. Go outside: Take advantage of sunshine and fresh air for some energy.
4. Put a fresh plant on your desk: By placing a plant on your desk, you’ll increase energy-bearing oxygen.
5. Listen to classical music: Classical music will stimulate your mind while relaxing you at the same time.

Emotional Boosters

These strategies will help you clear your mind and improve your energy.

1. Have something to look forward to: Having something to look forward to is a great motivator.
2. Practice meditation: Get your worries off your back for a while, and you’ll come back more refreshed.
3. Talk to an energetic friend: Gain energy by interacting with an upbeat friend.
4. Start your day with active work: Get started with something that requires you to use your brainpower instead of doing passive activities that will allow you to stay drowsy.
5. Wear something nice: Put on something you love to shake off the blahs.
6. Discuss something that interests you: Get your mind firing on all cylinders by talking about something you feel passionate about.
7. Let loose: Schedule time for leisure so that you’ll have an emotional outlet.
8. Practice visualization: Try imaginging a place or feeling that gives you energy, even if you can’t experience it at the moment.
9. Eliminate worry: Get the monkey off your back by taking action, making decisions, and dealing with problems right away.
10. Let it out: Find an outlet for your feelings so that they can’t drain your emotional energy.
11. Practice stress reduction: Use stress-busting techniques like deep breathing or meditation to take a load off and improve your energy.
12. Get things done: Do you have a task that’s weighing heavily on your mind? Just do it, and get the monkey off your back.

Other

These are just a few more helpful strategies for increasing your energy level.

1. Give up on pleasing people: Don’t spend your time and energy making others happy-do what you want to do.
2. Go with the flow: Accept that you’re not always going to feel your best, and learn to take advantage of the times when your energy is higher.
3. Fix your squeaky wheel: Upgrade your computer that can’t keep up, or replace your dishwasher that requires you to spend time washing before and after.

Have a great week!

Feedback welcome to scott@spartanology.com or @MSUScottW on Twitter.
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My wonderful daughter, Shelby, is one of my biggest cheerleaders. From the time she first understood speech, she heard me talking about how attitude is everything and she practices what I preach.

When she was very young, I loved the times I would tuck her in at bedtime and we would discuss what transpired during each of our days. At the time, Colleen was beginning her pursuit of fitness and Richard Simmons had a daily program on Television. Shelby would always start her day’s activity list with “I watched Richard!” Even now, as she turns 30, she still says that if I interrogate her to closely.

I was a devotee of Zig Ziglar, Denis Waitley and Earl Nightingale in those days and the concept of a “positive mental attitude” was something I tried to teach both Shelby and Brandon early on. I got a lesson in enlightenment one evening when I got ready to turn out her light and asked her, “So, do you remember what PMA is?”

She grinned from ear to ear. She knew the answer!

“Pre-Menstrual Syndrome!”

I struggled with little success in controlling my laughter. “And what does it mean?”

“It means you have to think good thoughts every day of the month!”

When I told Colleen about all of this later, she nodded her head knowingly. “She got it right after all.” she said.

Shelby sent me an article from LiveScience.com entitled “The pursuit of happiness is easier said than done”.

Science tells us that genetics play a part in our ability to be happy. There’s no shame in being aware that you may be clinically depressed, and the cadre of medications available in that realm can truly change lives.

But psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky of the University of California, Riverside told LiveScience Senior Writer Clara Moskovitz that, “Despite the finding that happiness is partially genetically determined, and despite the finding that life situations have a smaller influence on our happiness than we think they do, we argue that still a large portion of happiness is in our power to change.”

51 studies reviewed by Lyumbomirsky and her colleagues tested attempts to increase happiness through different types of positive thinking. The results, published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology, point to five things you can do to be happier.

1. Be grateful – Some study participants were asked to write letters of gratitude to people who had helped them in some way. The study found that these people reported a lasting increase in happiness – over weeks and even months – after implementing the habit. What’s even more surprising: Sending the letter is not necessary. Even when people wrote letters but never delivered them to the addressee, they still reported feeling better afterwards.

2. Be optimistic – Another practice that seems to help is optimistic thinking. Study participants were asked to visualize an ideal future – for example, living with a loving and supportive partner, or finding a job that was fulfilling – and describe the image in a journal entry. After doing this for a few weeks, these people too reported increased feelings of well-being.

3. Count your blessings – People who practice writing down three good things that have happened to them every week show significant boosts in happiness, studies have found. It seems the act of focusing on the positive helps people remember reasons to be glad.

4. Use your strengths – Another study asked people to identify their greatest strengths, and then to try to use these strengths in new ways. For example, someone who says they have a good sense of humor could try telling jokes to lighten up business meetings or cheer up sad friends. This habit, too, seems to heighten happiness.

5. Commit acts of kindness – It turns out helping others also helps ourselves. People who donate time or money to charity, or who altruistically assist people in need, report improvements in their own happiness.

Dr. Lyubomirsky has taken the art of happiness to the iPhone, creating an application, called Live Happy, to help people boost their well-being.

Elizabeth Scott is a PHd candidate at San Diego State. She writes about stress for about.com. Scott recommends learning the art of “reframing”.

“Reframing,” Scott says, “is a way of changing the way you look at something and, thus, changing your experience of it. Reframing can turn a stressful event into either a major trauma or a challenge to be bravely overcome. Reframing can depict a really bad day as a mildly low point in an overall wonderful life. Reframing can see a negative event as a learning experience. Reframing is a way that we can alter our perceptions of stressors and, thus, relieve significant amounts of stress and create a more positive life before actually making any changes in our circumstances.”

Reframing works because your body can’t tell the difference between real stress and perceived stress. From Scott’s February 15th About.com essay, are four techniques to help you learn to reframe.

1. Learn About Thinking Patterns. The first step in reframing is to educate yourself about some of these negative thinking patterns that may exacerbate your stress levels. See these common cognitive distortions to see which ones, if any, may come into play in your life. Also, read about negative explanatory styles to learn the particular way that pessimists view their life experiences; since pessimists tend to experience more stress and less success than do optimists, it’s important to understand how they think, and work to adopt a positive explanatory style instead. Educating yourself about thinking patterns and how they affect people is important for laying the groundwork for understanding and change.

2. Notice Your Thoughts. The next step is to catch yourself when you’re slipping into overly negative and stress-inducing patterns of thinking. Being aware of them is an important part of challenging and ultimately changing them. One thing you can do is just become more mindful of your thoughts, as though you’re an observer. When you catch negative thinking styles, just note them at first. If you want, you can even keep a journal and start recording what’s happening in your life and your thoughts surrounding these events, and then examine these thoughts through your new ‘lens’ to get more practice in catching these thoughts. Another helpful practice is meditation, where you learn to quiet your mind and examine your thoughts. Once you become more of an observer, it’s easier to notice your thoughts rather than remaining caught up in them.

3. Challenge Your Thoughts. As you notice your negative thoughts, an effective part of reframing involves examining the truth and accuracy (or lack thereof) of these thoughts. Are the things you’re telling yourself even true? Also, what are some other ways to interpret the same set of events? Which ways of seeing things serve you better? Instead of seeing things the way you always have, challenge every negative thought, and see if you can adopt thoughts that fit your situation but reflect a more positive outlook.

4. Replace Your Thoughts With More Positive Thoughts. Have you even been to a hospital and noticed that the nurses often ask people about their ‘discomfort’ rather than their ‘pain’? That’s reframing in action. If the patient is in searing pain, the term ‘discomfort’ becomes annoying and seems to reflect a disconnect in understanding, but if the pain is mild, reframing it as ‘discomfort’ can actually minimize the experience of pain for many patients. This is a useful reframing trick that we can all put into practice. When you’re looking at something negative, see if you can change your self talk to use less strong, less negative emotions. When you’re looking at a potentially stressful situation, see if you can view it as a challenge vs. a threat. Look for the ‘gift’ in each situation, and see if you can see your stressors on the more positive edge of reality: see them in a way that still fits the facts of your situation, but that is less negative and more optimistic and positive.

With these skills in your happiness toolbox you can discover how to change your life by changing you you look at life.

Have a great week!

Feedback welcome to scott@spartanology.com or @MSUScottW on Twitter.
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By Scott Westerman
When I took the job in suburban Peoria, I knew it would be three months until Colleen and our then very young children could join me. I was house sitting in a cavernous home with just a TV, microwave and a mattress and had, as usual, jumped in way over my head. My days were 18 hours long and as I forced myself NOT to go into the office on weekends, I tried to discover something to take my mind off of how much I was missing my family.

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One of the first apps I downloaded for my iPhone was the Amazon Kindle. The reviews are mixed for this mini-version of the famous Kindle EBook reader, but for me, it’s been a perfect way to keep up on my reading wherever I may be.

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